How to Land a Player
I read the book "The Rules" a few years ago, and while I agree with the basic premise of not appearing too eager, this book takes it a little too far. I don't think you should avoid a guy's phone calls and never call him. That's kind of rude. Plus, it will give him the idea you aren't interested. Which is the very thing that you want to do, according to the book because it will make him pursue you more. Maybe - IF he's a player. A nice guy will take the hint that you aren't interested and leave you alone, whereas a player will pursue you relentlessly. The author says it's because a man likes the chase, but that's not the entire story. The truth is, players are used to getting any woman they want, and when a woman spurns them, it hurts their pride. They are so determined to prove that they can get any woman they want, that they become obsessed with the woman who has scorned them. They don't give up until they marry her. That is the ultimate conquest for them. But that gets boring and they go back to their old womanizing ways.
This is exactly what happened with Tiger Woods and Elin. He wanted to go out with her, and she turned him down. And so he pursued her until she gave in and went out with him. Then they got married. Then he cheated - not once, not twice, but God knows how many times with how many women. Elin obeyed "The Rules" and landed a player. Way to go!
I'm not putting Elin down, I'm just saying that she did all the right things with the wrong guy. The only good things she's going to get out of this are beautiful children and lots of money. Not a husband who loves her and respects her.
The truth is, when you find the right person, you don't have to play games to get him to commit. You don't have to "make" him love you. He will be so in love with you he won't be able to wait to marry you! And you'll feel the same way about him. If you hold back your feelings, he might think there is not a connection and move on.
My advice is: just be honest. If you want to go out with someone, then go out with him, and don't play games with him. (Just try not to chase him too much and act obsessive. That will scare him.) If you don't want to go out with someone, then don't go out with him. If he continues to pursue you when you've already told him no, that is a bad sign. It means he's a player and he's not respecting your boundaries, and there's probably not a good future with him. Even if he is Tiger Woods.
This is exactly what happened with Tiger Woods and Elin. He wanted to go out with her, and she turned him down. And so he pursued her until she gave in and went out with him. Then they got married. Then he cheated - not once, not twice, but God knows how many times with how many women. Elin obeyed "The Rules" and landed a player. Way to go!
I'm not putting Elin down, I'm just saying that she did all the right things with the wrong guy. The only good things she's going to get out of this are beautiful children and lots of money. Not a husband who loves her and respects her.
The truth is, when you find the right person, you don't have to play games to get him to commit. You don't have to "make" him love you. He will be so in love with you he won't be able to wait to marry you! And you'll feel the same way about him. If you hold back your feelings, he might think there is not a connection and move on.
My advice is: just be honest. If you want to go out with someone, then go out with him, and don't play games with him. (Just try not to chase him too much and act obsessive. That will scare him.) If you don't want to go out with someone, then don't go out with him. If he continues to pursue you when you've already told him no, that is a bad sign. It means he's a player and he's not respecting your boundaries, and there's probably not a good future with him. Even if he is Tiger Woods.
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