I’m sure by now everyone has heard about the domestic violence incident that occurred between Rihanna and Chris Brown in the early morning hours of February 8th. According to In Touch magazine, the couple left Clive Davis’ pre-Grammy party around midnight on February 7^th. About ½ hour later, the singer reportedly called 911 and was taken to the emergency room at the local hospital. A source claimed she had “facial injuries, bruising, and swelling… small cuts inside her mouth,” as well as “contusions on her back area and her left rib area.” On the evening of February 8^th, Brown turned himself into the police and was released on $50,000 bail.

According to a perezhilton.com entry dated February 26^th, no charges had been filed against Chris Brown, yet he has a court hearing scheduled for March 5^th. The In Touch article states that he was charged with “making criminal threats”. So why was he not charged with assault and battery when it is so obvious that he beat up Rihanna? The only reason I can think of is that she has chosen to not press charges. Rumors are floating around that the two have reunited. I really hope this isn’t true.

Yet, this scenario is so common. Remember the cycle of abuse: after the abusive act, there is guilt, and even lovingness and kindness displayed by the abuser to win back the victim. Often, the victim falls for the act, thinking it’s real, and takes him back. There is then a “honeymoon phase” where the two are in love and everything is wonderful, until he sets her up for another attack, so he can abuse her again.

When I see this happen to someone like Rihanna, my heart goes out to her. But it also tells me that I’m not alone. That if this can happen to someone as beautiful and famous as Rihanna, it can happen to anyone. It happened to Pamela Anderson and other celebrities as well. We are all vulnerable. There isn’t anything about us that makes us victims other than we have a heart and we sometimes make the wrong choices. That’s okay. That’s human.