It's About Time I Took My Advice
I realized I've been urging my readers to minimize or cease contact with their abusers, but I wasn't doing this myself. Contact with my ex-husband has been very limited since I left, but I was still giving him too much opportunity to continue to verbally abuse me. I was trying to get along because I didn't feel like fighting anymore. And while I treated him with courtesy and respect, he failed to reciprocate.
After a conversation this week where my ex insulted me, I'd had enough. I've been tolerating his verbal abuse for over ten years now. And even though I stood up to him on the phone, I feel like I was still taking it since I continued the conversation. I should have ended the conversation immediately, saying, "If you are not going to treat me with respect, I am not going to talk to you."
Later it occurred to me that I really don't have to take it, even if we do have a child together. I don't have to speak to him ever again. The only reason to speak to him would be to arrange visitation, but that will be done via a third party. I do suspect that he will cease visitations with our son once he realizes he can't have any further contact with me. I have a hunch that the only reason he sees his son is to interact with me. Perhaps I have found a way to rid myself of him forever.
After a conversation this week where my ex insulted me, I'd had enough. I've been tolerating his verbal abuse for over ten years now. And even though I stood up to him on the phone, I feel like I was still taking it since I continued the conversation. I should have ended the conversation immediately, saying, "If you are not going to treat me with respect, I am not going to talk to you."
Later it occurred to me that I really don't have to take it, even if we do have a child together. I don't have to speak to him ever again. The only reason to speak to him would be to arrange visitation, but that will be done via a third party. I do suspect that he will cease visitations with our son once he realizes he can't have any further contact with me. I have a hunch that the only reason he sees his son is to interact with me. Perhaps I have found a way to rid myself of him forever.
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