When I saw Casey Anthony on the news last week being charged with the murder of her 2-year-old daughter, I was a little shocked. Here was a pretty, normal-looking woman who didn’t look capable of even killing a fly. “She doesn’t look like a killer”, I thought.

What does a killer look like anyway? I picture someone with a wild-eyed look, disheveled hair, and ragged clothes. Like Charles Manson. In the photos I’ve seen, he looked like a killer; a crazy man.

We have these stereotypes of killers, child abusers, and wife beaters. We think that they look a certain way, and that we can spot them if we see them. The fact is, most of them look normal, no different from you or me.

Remember Ted Bundy? He was good-looking, charming, and involved in the community. He had many friends. Yet, he was a serial killer.

I’m sure you’ve heard the old cliché “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. This is especially important in determining whether someone is safe or unsafe. You can’t judge a person by his or her appearance, though it is tempting to do so. It’s best to evaluate the person’s behavior before making any judgments.

Last week was the first I had heard of the Casey Anthony case. Apparently, this saga has been going on for months. I decided to research the story. I found this website, which gives a timeline of the events, as well as court and police records, and interviews with Casey, her family and her friends. I spent hours pouring over the records, trying to get to the bottom of this mysterious disappearance. It’s a very complicated case, mainly because Ms. Anthony has told the police nothing but lies. So they had to rely on information they received from friends and family, as well as forensic evidence, in order to try to locate the daughter, Caylee Anthony.

What stands out to me the most is the amount of lying that Casey did. It appears that she lied to cover up the murder of her daughter. But she also lied about where she worked, which doesn’t make sense. She made up an elaborate story about a nanny that no one’s ever seen or spoke to. She refused to recant her story, even when investigators told her the results of their investigation. She continued to swear she was telling the truth, even when the evidence showed she was lying.

The interviews with friends showed that Casey had been lying to everyone for quite some time. She was saying that she was going to work, when in fact she had no job. She was talking about sending her daughter to “Zani the Nanny.” I believe it was her ex-boyfriend who said she had been talking about this nanny for six months! She stole money, credit cards, and checks. She’s a liar, a manipulator, a con artist, and a thief. And possibly even a murderer.

It’s still hard for me to accept what a nasty person this girl is when I see her photos and videos. She looks sweet, innocent, and completely normal.

This is exactly the kind of thinking that gets us into trouble. We want to think the best of people, especially those who appear “normal”. We don’t want to believe that people do horrible things, especially people we know. When we see red flags, we ignore them, thinking, “Oh, he could NEVER do that!” We live in a fantasy world, believing that people are basically good and that the world is a wonderful place.

While I won’t deny that there are good people in the world, there are a lot of bad ones out there too. Those are the ones we have to watch out for. They don’t look a certain way. They don’t follow a certain religion. They may seem like nice people. They may go visit old ladies in nursing homes, they may do volunteer work, and they may give to charity. They may be responsible and have good-paying jobs. They may be active in the church and even preach.

The fact is, weirdoes are everywhere - in every walk of life, in every community around the world. You can find them at work, in the grocery store, on the Internet, at church, and in schools. While I don’t advocate paranoia and isolation, I do recommend keeping an eye out for these people. Learn about red flags. Determine what is appropriate and what is inappropriate behavior. Pay attention to things that make you feel uneasy. Learn to trust your judgment. Ask questions. Don’t just automatically believe what people tell you. A lot of people lie. Just look at Casey Anthony.

Casey’s family and friends were seeing a lot of red flags before the disappearance of Caylee. I believe that they really wanted to think the best of her, and didn’t expect her to commit a heinous crime. But perhaps if they would’ve paid closer attention to what she was doing, they may have been able to do something about it. Maybe Caylee would still be alive today. (I do believe she is dead).

If there’s someone in your life who is lying compulsively, being abusive, and engaging in anti-social behavior, you must protect yourself and those around you, especially the children. A person like this is capable of anything, even murder. Don’t give him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t look for the good in him. Don’t hope that he will change. You don’t have time for this. You must find a safe place to stay. You should also report him to the authorities. There should be a battered woman’s shelter in your area if you can’t stay with friends or family. To leave safely, read my article titled Leaving Your Abuser.