Moving on with your life after breaking up can be tough, but it can be done. Here are some ways you can do that:

Cut off Contact

Resist the urge to call him and say hi. Don’t drop by his house or workplace to hang out. You might miss him, but that feeling will pass. The only reason you should talk to him is to tie up loose ends; for instance, if you left some of your stuff over at his house and you need to get it. In that case, tie up those loose ends as fast as possible. Don’t leave your stuff at his house for months; it will give the two of you a reason to continue contacting one another.

Don’t allow him to contact you either. Make it clear that you do not wish to see him or speak to him anymore. You do not want to be friends. If you remain friends with your ex, you will have a hard time moving on. Do not take his calls or return his calls. If he continues to call you, you may want to change your number or block his number on your phone.

Do not answer the door if he comes to your house. In some states, you can get a trespassing order on anyone that you do not want to contact you, regardless of whether they are physically threatening. Basically, it says, “If you contact me at this address, you are trespassing and will be prosecuted.” There is often jail time involved for people who violate the order. To have a trespassing order served on someone, go to your local sheriff’s department, fill out the order and ask them to serve it. In my locality, it costs $12.00 for the sheriff’s department to serve the paper and we also have the option of sending it via certified mail. If he’s threatening physical harm, I advise you to go ahead and obtain a restraining order, which states that he cannot contact you AT ALL. To get a restraining order, you’ll have to go before a judge and present your case.

Find New Friends

If you continue to see mutual friends, it’s inevitable that you’ll run into your ex at some point. Your friends will also feel compelled to keep you updated on his life, particularly new girlfriends. Is it really worth the pain? You don’t have to cut off contact with your friends like you do with your ex, but you should start reducing the amount of time you spend with them. For instance, if you usually see them every day, cut back to once a week, and then once a month. You’re not ending the friendship, necessarily, you’re just drifting away. In the meantime, find a new group of friends that don’t know your ex. This will help you move on.

Find Things To Do

Pick up some hobbies. Rekindle old interests that fell by the wayside when you started dating him. Learn new things. Now is the time to learn photography, yoga, or get on a sports team. Maybe you used to play softball and quit once you had a boyfriend. Rejoin the team. Start an exercise program at the gym. Go mountain-biking. Go to social groups. Meetup.com will hook you up with special interest groups in your local area. Myspace is another great social networking site.

Finally, if you’re having trouble getting over your ex, visit a therapist. Remember that it is normal to grieve the loss of someone for a brief period of time. You may not get over your ex right away, but employing these methods will help with the process.