If you have to break up with someone, using these tips should make it a lot easier.

Be Nice

There’s no need to give him the third degree. While it may feel good to rattle off an itemized list of everything he did wrong, it’s just going to upset him and possibly cause a fight. Do you want to keep fighting, or do you want it to end? Don’t bother telling him what a loser he is. It will just cause more unpleasant feelings. Instead of being mean, be nice about it and end the relationship with class.

Don’t Blame

You’re probably upset about some things that he did, especially if he’s done anything I’ve outlined in my loser articles. But it’s not going to do you any good to blame him. Try to use non-confrontational language when breaking up. Use “I” sentences. Some things you could say are:

“I really feel that the two of us are moving in different directions in our lives, and it would be best if we started seeing other people.”

“I think that you’re a great person, but you’re just not the one for me.”

Don’t Be Friends

This never works out. Many people just say, “Let’s be friends” as a way to get out of the relationship, but they don’t really mean it. You don’t want to be friends with an ex. It always leads to trouble. If you actually try to be his friend, one or both of you will experience unpleasant emotions every time you see each other. What about when one of you starts dating someone else? The other person is likely to feel jealous. Another problem with being friends with an ex is that you will often get back together later. This isn’t a good idea. If it didn’t work the first time around, it won’t work the second, third, fourth, or fifth. The best thing to do is move on with your life and not hang on to old flames.

Be Clear

Be clear about your intentions of breaking up. Don’t say that you need time to think if you in fact, have already thought it out and have decided to break things off. You may think that you’re “lessening the blow”, but actually, you are leading him on. You’re telling him that you’re considering continuing to date him when you really aren’t. He may wait for you to “come around” and then be angry with you when you deliver the final blow. It’s best to make your intentions clear from the start. That way you’re not wasting anyone’s time and you’re not playing games.

With some people, you have to make things very clear. You may have to explain to him that breaking up means no further contact at all. A lot of folks (women included) will continue to call their ex, even after the breakup. These people cannot let go. As I said before, remaining friends is a bad idea. As long as you have tied up all the loose ends (you have all your stuff, he has all his stuff, etc.), there is no reason to continue to have contact with him. You can make other friends. You don’t have to have exes for friends.

Don’t blow him off and hope he’ll “take a hint”. A lot of people can’t take a hint. You have to spell it out for them. Besides, it’s rude. Suppose you’ve been dating for a few months and all of a sudden you quit taking his calls. One day you were talking to him and he thought everything was fine, and the next day you won’t answer the phone. What is he supposed to think? He may start to worry and think something bad happened to you. Just pick up the phone and tell him you don’t want to see him anymore. Now, if he continues to call you AFTER you’ve broken up, then you can blow him off.

By following these guidelines, you can make breaking up with your loser quick and painless.