There are other ways to break up with your boyfriend other than in person and on the phone. If you’re uncomfortable with speaking to him directly, try one of these methods:

Leaving a Voice Message

You can always break up with him on his voicemail. Call at a time when you know he won’t be available to answer the phone, otherwise you’ll have to talk to him. For instance, call his home telephone number when you know he is at work. Briefly explain that you no longer wish to see him. Now is not the time to give a reason. Count on the possibility of him calling you back. He’s most likely going to want an explanation, unless he feels the same way you do. Sometimes he may be losing interest in the relationship as well, and you’ll never hear from him again. In that case, leaving a voicemail message is the perfect way to end things!

If he calls you back, you’ll have to decide whether to take the call. If you have business to take care of, such as getting your stuff out of his house, then you probably should talk to him to work out those details. (More will be written about this in a future article titled “Things That Make Breaking Up Difficult”.) Keep the conversation short, focusing only on working out the details, avoiding the “whys”. You can always get off the phone quickly by making up some excuse like “Someone is knocking at my door.”

Writing a Letter

In a letter, you can explain as much as you want to without worrying about him saying anything back. Use this method if you really think that he needs to know how you feel, but you don’t feel like dealing with him in person. Sometimes you’ll get a response; sometimes you won’t. HINT: If you don’t want to ever hear from him again, write him a long, nasty letter. He’ll get the picture.

Sending an Email

An email is the short and sweet way to break up. Keep it to one paragraph, and give only one reason, if any.

Example:

“Dear John,

I’ve thought it over and decided it’s best if we don’t see each other anymore. I’m sorry, but we just aren’t compatible. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either of us, we just aren’t right for each other. It would be best for us to both move on and see other people. I wish you the best.

-Christine”

This is perfect because it’s short and it doesn’t blame. It’s kind and respectful. This way, you can dump him with class without having a confrontation. I’m not afraid of confrontation; I have had plenty of it. However, in my experience, breaking up is much easier to do when confrontation is avoided.

What Not to Do

Don’t send a text message. With the limited character length, you may need to send more than one message to say what you want to say. Besides, it will inevitably lead to him calling you anyway. It’s better to send an email.

Don’t dump your boyfriend via a third party. Messages can get mixed-up, and it’s better for him to hear it straight from you.