Here are some more tips for leaving your abuser:

- Staying in the same area may not be safe, depending on how dangerous the abuser is. If you are worried he may kill you, move to another town, or even another state.

- When you are concerned about your physical safety, you may want to get a trespassing order or a restraining order. Do keep in mind, however, that your address will appear on the order. Then he will know where you live and may choose to disobey the order and contact you anyway. If he already knows where you live, then getting the order can’t hurt, but if he doesn’t, it probably would be best to continue to hide.

- Immediately after you leave, go to your local magistrate and get an emergency custody order for your children. This will give you temporary full custody until the next hearing date.

- Retain the services of a lawyer if you are married or have children together. If you can’t afford to hire an attorney, there are free legal services available for low-income residents in most areas.

- The kids may have a difficult time adjusting to the change, even if they are happy to leave their dad. If you are having trouble talking to them about it, have a trusted friend or relative explain the situation to them and what their lives will be like in the near future. Or, you can seek advice from a counselor on how to talk to your children.

- Consider seeing a family therapist with your children so that you can all work on your issues together. You may need to see a therapist individually as well, and parenting classes wouldn’t hurt either.

- See if you can find a support group in your area for battered women. If not, there are plenty of groups online.

- Make a plan to get on your feet and become self-sufficient as soon as possible. This will keep you from returning to your abuser for financial security.

- Remember that the first few weeks after leaving an abuser are the most dangerous. This is the time when many abuse victims are murdered. Take special precautions to ensure the safety of you and your children during this time.