Nobody is perfect. Look at the overall picture of someone before you write him off as a loser. If he has just one of those qualities mentioned, he might be okay. For instance, my new husband has financial problems but he treats me like gold so I do not think he is a loser. For some people, however, financial problems are a deal breaker. It all depends on what you are willing to put up with.

If your guy has financial problems, can’t keep a job, has no place to live, has an alcohol or drug problem, complains constantly, lies compulsively, disrespects his mother, and bosses you around, there’s a good chance he’s a loser. A guy like this will not bring joy to your life; he will bring headache, pain, and suffering. It’s better to let go of a guy like this rather than stay and try to “fix” him.

If you’re codependent like me, you will be attracted to losers because you want to help them with their problems. If you continue to date losers, you may be codependent. Talk to a therapist about your codependency issues or attend Codependents Anonymous (CODA) meetings: Codependents Anonymous is a twelve-step recovery program for people with codependency.

More will be written later on codependency and how to find a worthy partner.