So, you’ve started dating a new guy, and you’re not sure if he’s a keeper or not. You definitely don’t want another loser like the one you had before. How do you determine whether he is worth keeping? Why there is no clear-cut formula for determining if a mate is suitable, there are some signs to look out for.

Alcohol or Drug Use

This is a definite no-no. Anyone who uses alcohol or drugs will have tendencies towards irresponsibility and abuse. Addictions to substances literally change one’s personality. If you’ve ever known a substance abuser or watched a show like “Intervention”, you know what I’m talking about.

If you use alcohol or drugs, you should quit as soon as possible. Having an addiction makes it harder to recover from past traumas, and causes you to make poor decisions. If you use substances, you are most likely to hook up with another substance user and continue the vicious cycle of abuse. Quitting can be hard. You probably will need professional help with this. Contact a treatment center in your area to begin the process. This tool offered by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration can help you locate treatment centers in your area.

He Has No Job

If your boyfriend has no job, or has trouble keeping a job, this is an indicator that he may be unstable and irresponsible. You may end up financially supporting him, and you may not want to be in that situation.

Financial Trouble

If he has trouble paying his bills, has delinquent accounts in collections, or is in bankruptcy, this is another sign of instability. You may be stuck with the bulk of the financial burden if you marry him. However, this does not necessarily make him a loser. I have had financial trouble in the past, but I consider myself a responsible person. What you need to determine is whether this is just a temporary setback, or a pattern of behavior. Does he have a tendency to overspend? Does he ignore his bills altogether, insisting that he “pay himself first”? Does he often borrow money from people but rarely pay it back? These are all questions to ask yourself when evaluating his financial situation.

He Doesn’t Have a Place of His Own

If he is living with his parents or friends, this could be a sign of irresponsibility. He may be a mooch. Of course, a lot of people go through hard times and have to live with friends or family, but it should be on a temporary basis. If he’s been living off others for a long time - such as a year or more, this should cause you some concern.

He Spends A Lot of Time in Bars

He may say that he goes to bars to hang out with his buddies, but the real reasons men go to bars are to chase women and drink. You shouldn’t waste your time on someone who drinks and chases women. You deserve a responsible man who abstains from alcohol and is faithful to you.

This is the first part in my series of “Signs You’re Dating a Loser”. Come back tomorrow for the second segment.