As I sit here this morning, I realized that there are so many people who will offer advice, but what is most important is what is best for YOU.  So, this week I am going to focus on what is in the heart, the good, the bad, and the very thing that drives us and helps us make decisions.  It is through understanding our heart that we can make the decision to change our lives, and the lives of those who count on us.  

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There are so many aspects to consider when trying to understand a bad relationship; the one that is most important is that the person who feels trapped is being abused and believes on some level this is all there is for their life.

There are numerous rows of self-help books in bookstores and libraries.  They list nearly every possible scenario and what to do about it, where to go and how many have made a better life for themselves.  While all this information is important and helpful, everyone is different and there is no single, right answer.

The one thing to understand and what they can’t tell you is why YOU want to leave and/or why you feel you can’t.  Take the time to sit and honestly make a list of what is not right, why you do not feel comfortable, why you should leave and why you think it is wrong to leave.  Make to two lists, one for what you feel is right in the relationship and one for what you feel is wrong.  Putting things on paper often makes them seem logical and easier to understand, and in a sense we are taking our own advice, hearing our heart and opening our eyes.  There is a saying that goes, “We never take our own advice,” but making the list changes this.   

The first step is to believe it is time to make a change in your life, and that single decision will create a domino effect in which you can help your children and others.  Staying in a bad relationship because it is what you were taught is not a reason to stay; your life is more important.