In our post-feminist society, the notion that a woman has to be attached in order to be whole is running rampant. If she doesn’t have a partner, it’s assumed that something is missing from her life. Pressure from friends, family and society in general can cause insecurity and self-doubt even amongst the most successful of women. Attached women view the single woman as a threat. Friends and family try to set her up on ridiculous blind dates. Coworkers and acquaintances whisper, “What is wrong with her?” “Is she gay?”

Consequently, instead of enjoying their single life, many women spend this time in misery, not realizing all the benefits of going solo. Single women can run their own life- do what they want, however they please. When you’re single, you can spend your time the way you want to; you don’t have work around someone else’s schedule. You manage your schedule and that’s it. You can be selfish. You can be all about you. You can get all the clothes, manicures, pedicures, massages - you name it - as you want, without ever having to answer to anyone for your spending. You can go out with your friends without worrying about “him” getting jealous. You can make choices on your own. You don’t have to consult with anyone before you buy a home or a car. You can have pets. If you like snakes and iguanas, you can bring them home without freaking anyone out.

Given the freedom of the single life, why would anyone want a partner? I guess because it gets lonely at times. Believe me, you’ll feel much lonelier in a bad relationship than you would if you were alone. If you find yourself feeling lonely, pick up the phone and call a friend. Meet her for coffee. Go to church. Get with the girls for a night out on the town. Join groups. Get a workout buddy. Play sports. There are a lot of things you can do to stay busy, enjoy your life and keep your mind off your loneliness. The worst thing you can do is settle is because you’re lonely. As Maureen Dowd says, “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”