About Abuse and Getting Help Once You're Out
Abuse in an intimate relationship happens when one partner tries to control the other. Tactics such as fear and intimidation and sometimes threats or actual violence acts are used to maintain control. The term “domestic violence” refers to physical abuse. Domestic violence sometimes ends in murder. Victims can be male or female, gay or straight. This blog focuses on female victims of male perpetrators. For help in other types of abusive situations, go to Stop Abuse For Everyone.
Abuse usually occurs during the relationship, sometimes escalating while the couple is breaking up, and in some cases even after the end of the relationship. There’s a lot of information out there to help women who are in abusive relationships, and who are getting out, but I couldn’t find much on what to do once I was out of the relationship. The average battered woman returns to her abuser six times. I really can’t count how many times I returned to my abuser. I didn’t want to return again. I wanted this time to be for real.
An Amazon.com search resulted in the book, It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence -- Old Edition
. This was exactly what I needed. After I left, my life was not all peaches and cream. I was a basket case. I moved to a new area and enrolled my son in a new school in just two days. It was quite an adjustment for him and for me as well. He was misbehaving at school. I took a high-paying, high-stress job and found out I couldn’t handle it.
It's My Life Now walked me through all of the trials I was facing and helped me to understand the emotions I was feeling at the time. It was as if the authors were holding my hand through it all. The thirteen dollars or so that I spent on it was worth way more than the thousands of dollars I spent on therapy during my divorce. This book is well written and the content is relevant to an abuse survivor’s situation. It deals with every possible issue a survivor could face. No stone is left unturned. The exercises really helped me make sense out of things and monitor my own personal growth. The tone is supportive and non-judgmental. There is even a chapter on going back, which includes a helpful exercise titled “Considering Your Options“. For anyone who has left an abuser and is now wondering what to do, this survival manual is a must-read.
Abuse usually occurs during the relationship, sometimes escalating while the couple is breaking up, and in some cases even after the end of the relationship. There’s a lot of information out there to help women who are in abusive relationships, and who are getting out, but I couldn’t find much on what to do once I was out of the relationship. The average battered woman returns to her abuser six times. I really can’t count how many times I returned to my abuser. I didn’t want to return again. I wanted this time to be for real.
An Amazon.com search resulted in the book, It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence -- Old Edition
. This was exactly what I needed. After I left, my life was not all peaches and cream. I was a basket case. I moved to a new area and enrolled my son in a new school in just two days. It was quite an adjustment for him and for me as well. He was misbehaving at school. I took a high-paying, high-stress job and found out I couldn’t handle it. It's My Life Now walked me through all of the trials I was facing and helped me to understand the emotions I was feeling at the time. It was as if the authors were holding my hand through it all. The thirteen dollars or so that I spent on it was worth way more than the thousands of dollars I spent on therapy during my divorce. This book is well written and the content is relevant to an abuse survivor’s situation. It deals with every possible issue a survivor could face. No stone is left unturned. The exercises really helped me make sense out of things and monitor my own personal growth. The tone is supportive and non-judgmental. There is even a chapter on going back, which includes a helpful exercise titled “Considering Your Options“. For anyone who has left an abuser and is now wondering what to do, this survival manual is a must-read.
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