The purpose of this blog is to offer encouragement and support to women who have left abusive relationships. Too often, we don’t receive much support. Since society tends to look down on single women (even more so single parents), some of us may feel pressure to re-unite with the abuser or find another man immediately. Many of us may even be catching flack from our friends and family about being single.

Has anyone ever said these things to you?

“It’s such a shame you can’t work things out with [your husband].”
“Why are you taking the kids away from their father?”
“Don’t worry, you’ll find another man someday.” (As if that’s supposed to be encouraging.)
“There’s a man for you.” (Referencing some guy you both know, that your friend thinks is hot but you could care less about.)
“Look at his hand to see if he has a ring on it.” (Same as above.)
“Now you don’t want to be an OLD MAID!”

If so, you’re not alone. It seems as if people in general are uncomfortable with others being single. Women especially have issues with other women being single. I suspect this is because they see single women as a threat, they are afraid of losing their man to one of their single friends. Or they think something is “wrong” with their friend for being single so they want to “fix” her by eliminating her single-hood. These annoying friends always want to set you up on a date with someone who is totally not your type. These are the ones who will not shut up about you needing a boyfriend. Thank God, I don’t have any of those in my life right now.

I say we embrace our singleness and wear it with pride. For me, personally, my single times were my happiest times in life. I love the freedom. I love being able to do what I want when I want and not having to get approval. I love being able to spend money on myself without feeling guilty. I love the sound of nobody nagging. I could go on and on.

I’m not saying there aren’t lonely times, but I keep myself busy enough that I don’t have too much time to be lonely. And being lonely is better than being abused. As Dr. Phil says, “It’s better to be healthy and alone than sick with someone else.”

So let’s celebrate our freedom from abusers together. Encourage, support and strengthen one another. Comments are always welcome. Please share what you love about being single. Issues you are having about being single. And if you’re still with your abuser, you can find support here as well.